And suddenly, I was lost in the moment.

Don’t know where to be find.

Darkness came.

It was the time of depression that swallowed me.

Betrayed, estimated, bloodsucked, and fooled,

Things matched with my name.

Then I felt something so wrong.

It was my downfall.

I lost everything, I lost myself.

They were gone, unexpectedly.

I was gone.

There’s no way out. No way.

I was almost dying.

No one has to save me. No one.

I was almost not cured.

I kneeled for no good reason. No good reason.


I pretended that I can. And maybe I really could.


I was also back. With twisted boom and vengeance.


Kiss of Death

Once was sitting on a golden throne, my empire was a huge space of happiness and winning, I took control of everything that came, there’s no chance for the word defeat in me. The crown and my turn was only for me, mine, and could never be steal. But changes happened and snakes appeared, they’re uncountable and I didn’t know which of them are venomous and not, but they all poisoned me.

They intertwined and scattered themselves around, I could sense it, sense the loathsome smell brought. They’re trying to hunt me and fool by their hissing voices. They grew and they became longer, bigger, their fangs became sharper and hungrier for thing to suck and body to put in their toxics. And they did, the pile of snakes rolled around me and my body and grabbed the chance to let their filthy, sharpened teeth get in touch with my precious flesh.

I was out of my vision, fell asleep in bitter, gallingly unacceptable reality that my castle would crush into tiny fragments through reptile’s laugh. It was evilic. Satanic.

I closed my eyes for a very long time but I now opened them again with only last drop of tear and shouted in vehemence. I am coated with dust and rust and smoke and heat and dirt and smell of putrid. Bricks beside.

My rare throne is seated by a abhorrent serpent, my soldiers and devastated, damaged palace is now ruled by a Mascara. The crown is on top but not of my head, and I only have this rounded layer of wires to wear.

At least I learned, things aren’t new. My power was rotten but I’ll wake it up from it’s death and resurrect everything like how I woke from my long dark color of black out, will take back what’s for me. I am now fake.


You’ve done what you’ve done and everything’s unchangeable.

You once wounded me and that marked scars, you once hurt me and that broke my fragile self.

All that I never expect became expected, you showed me the worse side of you and I did nothing but watched you transform. I heard everything that’s nasty, I received the most hallucinating tricks, and the embarrassment I will always keep.

Dignity in me faded hastily. I opened my eyes, awoke it that the world turned differently.

People are saying a lot, a lot of verbals that would always ruin me as, fractures showed itself at my body but I fixed it all and stood stronger than before.

The biggest regret penetrated my mind for not fighting, speaking, and defending for myself but I said, that it’ll be also a big regret to carelessly dropping a soft, delicate glass like me.

Brevity of time happened, I stopped from keeping my face of goodness and switched it to the opposite. Braver, wiser, tougher, smarter, harder, darker. Unfamiliarity is what I did. Once a little creature but changed enormously through power.

I remember how I got disgraced ,rejected, abused, and accepted fakely but I learned and I’ll never be the same, will never be brittle and weak again.

Here now inside the game, where I crave hungrily for avenge and thirsty for forgiveness and pity. You all want to escape while kneeling in front of me but I locked the doors and made some trap for fools.

I’ve been a little creature but changed enormously through power. I’ve been a little creature and I’ll never be that little rat again.